One hundred things
by itsnoteven
Summary: One hundred (plus) annoying things about Death Note fan fiction. -off hiatus-
1. Twenty-four things

.

Twenty-four annoying things about Death Note fan fiction

1. Mary Sue's that are paired with L.

2. Mary Sue's that are paired with Light.

3. That every Mary Sue story starts with 'My' or 'I'.

4. That every Mary Sue story is written in first person.

5. That people who don't like Light call him 'gay' as an insult even though (1) it's obviously not confirmed that he even is gay (his last name spelt backwards, actually, doesn't count unless Soichiro is too?) and (2) being gay is obviously not an insult.

6. Annoying author notes that are almost as long/longer than a chapter.

7. These:

Me: omg thanks for reading! Please leave a review!  
L: omgz please leave her a review otherwise light will kill you with his Death Note.  
Light: omgz I'm not even Kira.  
Me: every1 knows your Kira Light now diiiiie bwahahahaha.

Just. Don't.

8. You don't need to 'warn' for yaoi. Do you see this:

Warning: Contains hereto!...?

No.

9. OC's that have stupid names.

10. OC's that have stupid abilities.

11. Gender bender-ing L or Light so that there is a malexfemale relationship.

12. Romantic stories where Light loves Misa.

13. Severe OOCness to the point where you're wondering if the author was on crack or just stopped watching DN halfway through the first episode.

14. NearxMello

15. Story summaries like this:

Maizie is L's past lover who was forced away from him just after their wedding day. With Kira in their midst, she goes to find the odd detective and save him, but comes across a strange man called BB and things get complicated.

If you want to read this. OMG. *bangs head on keyboard*

16. Story titles like this:

Depression, something emo and Angst

17. When people spell Roger, Rodger.

18. When Light giggles.

19. When L chuckles.

20. Clichéd Yotsuba arc stories.

21. (Death Note character) x Reader

22. Stories about OC's who are some random main character pairings love child.

23. wen the author doesnt no how to use propper spellning and gramma,

24. This:

I'll post another chapter if I get another four reviews!1

**To be continued... Probably.**


	2. Twenty-six things

.

Another twenty-four (+ two) annoying things about Death Note fan fiction

25. When OC's swear excessively and act like spoiled brats... but somehow L still falls for them.

26. When OC's aren't even at a legal age and still go to school... but somehow L still falls for them.

27. "That kiss that still sends shivers down my spine." - said Mary Sue, probably.

28. A first chapter that is a listed profile about the physical appearance/attributes/personality of an OC.

29. Okay. I feel kind of bad for the whole NearxMello thing before, so I'll replace it here with: when Near, a character who shows little to no emotion whatsoever, suddenly wants to make out with Mello in front of everyone at Wammy's in the hall and his heart starts beating wildly.

30. When people use dashes to indicate dialogue instead of quotation marks and you have no idea who's actually talking, or if someone is talking.

31. Ask a DN character where the DN character is so out of character that it feels like you're really asking the question to a fourteen-year-old fan girl who may or may not be high.

32. When main characters names aren't even always capitalized and you read 'light' as a noun.

33. When L is written as childish and never serious.

34. When L is written as 'adorable passive uke' and possession of Light's.

35. The only thing that Matsuda ever does is make loud exclamations and coffee.

36. L and Light both conveniently fall for the same Mary Sue but she (of course) only likes L.

37. RyukxLight lemon.

38. Consecutive chapters that are only 200-300 words long.

39. Mello always calls Near a sheep. Always.

40. Matt's hair is red for no reason.

41. Matt's eyes are green for no reason. (They're, actually, dark blue.)

42. BB's eyes are red too, even though you can't tell if someone has the Shinigami eyes.

43. Sometimes BB doesn't even have scars as a result of his attempted self-immolation, but if he does they never make him ugly or disfigured.

44. When Light is written only half as intelligent as he is in the manga and anime for convenient (usually Mary Sue driven) plot purposes.

45. This:

I put my hand up to L's cheek. I could feel my heart pounding.

But then, Light walked in the room.** (AN Grr I hate Light he is such a douche! But don't worry, there'll be some undisturbed romance in the next chapter ;) )** And I dropped it. He was holding cookies and looked surprised.

46. Beyond's real personality consists of swearing, jam obsession and general freakism. Sometimes portrayed as moderately intelligent. Rarely, ever.

47. When characters speak in random Japanese probably copied and pasted from Google translate and you have no idea what they're saying.

48. Misa is written as a stupid blonde who requires none of your respect even though she proved herself intelligent multiple times and is one of Death Note's most tragic characters.

49. When every line of a story is centered and you become so frustrated you can't even be bothered reading it.

50. L and Light competing in a game to put the other in sexy lingerie (not crack. Somehow, this is in character and still makes sense if it takes place in the Death Note-verse).


	3. Twenty-seven things

.

Another twenty-four (+ three) annoying things about Death Note fan fiction  


51. No-one cares about Watari because he's old.

52. Despite the fact that the creators of Death Note admitted that when L called Light a friend he was lying, in LxLight yaoi fan fiction 99% of the time... L isn't lying.

53. Ukita's death is never worth mentioning for more than a sentence.

54. L's black hair is always described as being raven colored.

55. When L always keeps Light awake because it just doesn't make sense that he would let him rest so that he could work more effectively on the case.

56. When a story is written in WordPad and then it's pasted into fan fiction leaving no spaces in-between lines or paragraphs making it impossible to read.

57. Mello has 'girly' blonde hair therefore is prone to sometimes 'acting like a woman'.

58. If an author hates Light, his physical attractiveness or any other possible positive traits are never mentioned.

59. When POV's change six times in one chapter (all of them in first person) and you have no idea what you just read.

60. Anatomy words that are just plain weird.

61. Song fic's that are purely just the characters singing, using lyrics OOC-ly with their names in front of certain lines and nothing more.

62. OC's that are at Wammy's for no special reason other than that they are 'special'.

63. When L is married to a Mary Sue.

64. When BB looks exactly like L naturally, even though in the LABB Murder Case novel he had to wear tonnes of make-up.

65. L's three successors also sometimes double as L and Light's love children (male pregnancy, not ever, given a legit explanation).

66. This:

to see my OCs outfit go to www. tumblr . something something kawaii / 9372

67. When L is the world's greatest detective yet he doesn't have a clue when his suspect, Light, shows obvious signs of infatuation such as: blushing, trembling, nervousness, 'accidental' after fight straddling, and fumbled attempts at kissing.

68. "WHEN A CHARACTERS DIALOGUE IS EXCESSIVELY TYPED IN CAPITALS TO EMPHASIZE THAT THEY ARE EXCITED AND/OR SHOUTING!1"

69. When L avoids at all costs speaking in slang or using conjunctions, even though he does in the anime dub frequently.

70. When a chapter isn't actually a chapter but a whole bunch of un-related author notes.

71. Mikami and Light in a serious equal relationship.

72. Story summries with spellinng mistakes.

73. Aizawa sometimes says things that are angry.

74. When OC's are half Shinigami but still look human. They just have all the immortal life and Shinigami eyes awesome.

75. Nothing much is known about A, but he hung himself, probably. And may have been B's lover.

Sometimes, he's even a Mary Sue.

76. When Matt and Mello are always written as roommates. Even though no one knows if they really were.

77. Kiyomi Takada is only ever really mentioned in KiyomixMisa yuri.


	4. Making one hundred

.

The last (for a while) twenty-four annoying things about Death Note fan fiction

78. When a chapter is made up of one whole long paragraph.

79. Soichiro Yagami's death is never worth mentioning at all.

80. When people spell Mello, Mellow.

81. Story titles like this:

Death Note story

and this:

LxLight Fanfic

and this:

Near x Mello(CONTAINS YAOI!)

82. When innocent Light = naive, minus forty IQ points Light.

83. When authors can't handle constructive criticism.

84. When you start reading a thirty chapter or so M-Rated story, for an awesome sounding plot, but into the third paragraph you realize that it's actually thirty chapters of just really badly written smut and the plot is pretty much ignored.

85. Matsuda's confusion about whether Kira is good or evil is hardly ever mentioned. Because of course, Kira is pure evil.

86. Story summaries like this:

Me and my friends all get sucked into Death Note and have to save the world from a new Kira that threatens to create some random plot twist. LxOC, LightxOC, MatsudaxOC, MelloxOC, one-sided NearxOC, MattxOC, OCxOC, OCxOCxOC, BBxOC.

87. When author notes aren't separated from the rest of the story and you start reading the story thinking that you're still reading the author notes.

88. When you're three chapters into an OC story and it's so complicated and random that you have no idea what's going on.

89. When you're seven chapters into an OC story and it's so complicated and random that you still have no idea what's going on.

90. When people care about their OC's so much that they couldn't be bothered thinking of a name for them before they publish their story and simply refer to their OC as 'OC'. Like, as in that's their name. And leave an author note in the story saying that they haven't thought of one yet.

91. When Mello swears in every second sentence with exclamation.

92. When main characters (usually L, Light, or BB) are somehow resurrected as Shinigami.

93. Rape fics.

94. When people don't write a summary because they say they suck at writing them, but ask you to read their story anyway even though you have no idea what it's about and they can't even write a summary.

95. When characters in AU stories are so OOC that it could pretty much be a story with OC characters that just happen to share the same physical traits and names as the DN ones.

96. When no paragraphs are used and every sentence of a story is given a new line.

97. When in post-Kira Near centric fics it's completely ignored that Roger actually became the new Watari.

98. Even though Death Note is set in Japan, OC's are almost never Japanese.

99. When Naomi Misora is written off as not being that smart because Kira killed her, disregarding all of her involvement in the LABB murder case and her arresting of Beyond Birthday.

100. When it's somehow IC to put Mello in a dress.

* * *

**Author note:**

DEG, using capitals and swearing as a response to these points is perfectly fine haha. Your comments were awesome. Also, 75&76 were stereotypes. I went back and fixed them (I think) so hopefully that's clearer now, so thanks. Also: "54) I KNOW. HOW THE FUCK CAN SOMETHING BE RAVEN COLORED ITS BLACK YOU FAILED HIPSTERS" I felt like framing that and putting it on my wall.

Aaaand, that makes it a hundred. I seriously didn't think I would be able to think of that many. This may not be updated for a little while now but thanks to everyone who left their comments. You guys are all awesome.

. .v


	5. One hundred and twenty-four

.

Another twenty-four annoying things about Death Note fan fiction

101. When people spell Wammy's, Whammy's.

102. When story titles aren't even grammatically correct.

103. When people describe what is happening in a chapter in the author notes, instead of describing it in the actual chapter.

104. When different first person POV's feel like reading the exact same character's POV, just from another physical perspective.

105. When people use emoticons like this '^-^' in their stories to express what the character's face looks like, or how they're feeling...?

I don't even.

106. When Mary Sue's are as smart as L.

107. When Light is written to have OCD.

108. When Light unexplainably just warms up to an OC and they become BFF's.

109. That every Mary Sue story opens with the first chapter narrating how dull/boring their life is.

110. When Watari is portrayed as 'evil', neglecting the fact that he actually spoils L rotten.*

111. That LightxTakada is pretty much ignored.*

112. When multiple characters' dialogue is all written on the same line.

113. When POV's change not only more than six times in a chapter, but in every... single... paragraph.

114. When a character suddenly shows up at a Mary Sue's room with no explanation given, and he instantly likes her because: she has no life span, she looks smart, he gets a 'feeling' he should date her, or she somehow knows things she shouldn't know.*

115. When Near always plays with childish toys, such as action figures and dolls.

116. When text language is used in story summaries.

117. When text language is used in an actual story.

118. When Mikami is a hard core stalker of Light's, even though he was a hard core believer in Kira's ideals, and not enamored by Light himself.*

119. This:

I held L as he died in my arms.

**(AN psyche, that's not really what happened!)**

L really dodged the bullet and then we kissed!

120. When OC's from outside of Death Note are just randomly pulled into Death Note with little to no explanation given at all.

121. When potential language barriers between OC's and canon characters are completely ignored.

122. When changing a characters gender means changing 80% of their personality.

123. When an author will even admit that the main reason why they gender-bend a character, is so that they can write and explore the possibility of that character with another (who would otherwise be the same gender) in a romantic relationship.

124. When authors tell you that their story is/will be awesome.

* * *

**Author Note:**

Points marked with an asterix(*) are suggestions made by Tifer. Thank you Tifer :)


	6. One hundred and forty-nine

.

Another twenty-four (plus one) annoying things about Death Note fan fiction

125. When Light swears frequently in conversation.

126. Mary Sue's that are perfect and have no faults.

127. When L is described as being purely good, when the creators of Death Note even admitted that he is a 'bit evil'.

128. Troll fics.

129. When Light is written as very openly mean.

130. When Light is written 'in character' as extremely effeminate.

131. When Mary Sue's, for a weak reason, are suspected of being Kira just so that they can be chained to L.

132. When Light decides, for a weak reason, not to be Kira anymore.

133. LxWatari

134. That Misa's tragic past is written off, and never fully explored.

135. Light has naturally straight hair, that falls naturally around his face... therefore he must spend hours, and use various hair products, doing it.

136. That the plot potentialities of the great detective wars between L, Eraldo Coil, and Deneuve are never explored.

137. When an author openly states that they find yaoi gross.

138. When L is nervous and/or stutters.

139. When L falls for an OC simply because she is around and he is 'lonely'.

140. When in OC stories, the Kira case is pretty much ignored.

141. Roger doesn't like children, so he must therefore hate them.

142. When in pre/post-Kira fics a Mary Sue finds and picks up another Death Note, and the reign of Kira is preluded/continued... through the first person narration and eyes of a Mary Sue.

143. LightxSayu incest.

144. When L is described as anorexic, even though he weighs more than Light and is constantly seen eating.

145. When Light is constantly hated/bashed on.

146. When an OC is a random sibling of a main character who has no siblings.

147. When Light understands hardly any English.

148. When authors adamantly give excuses for why their canon characters seem out of character even though this makes no sense, unless they are being out of character.

149. When Light always flips his hair.

* * *

**Author Note:**

Thanks go to WhiteLadyDragon for pointing out that I missed point 107 in the last update. I'm not sure what happened there, but I swear it was a typo and that I _can _count up that high (just to clarify).

In any case, #107 has mysteriously appeared now. Thanks again for reading.

. .v


End file.
